Well, it's that time of year again. My first day back in the office after Christmas vacation and I suddenly have a whopping case of laryngitis.
This, for those of you who don't know, appears to be my specialty. It's an annual wintertime tradition, and can have effects that linger for many weeks. So I am trying to not talk AT ALL. Of course, it's not actually going according to plan. Writing every thought down is hard, so I am whispering to my assistant. Bad idea. Sigh.
I can't even hum holiday tunes without making things worse. But the cats are happy about that.
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Hey, She's Posting!
I seem to spend most of my time doing quickie posts over on my Facebook page rather than blogging here, which is simply laziness on my part. I guess I feel like I need a lot more length, depth, and substance in my blog posts than FB posts, but in truth that's not some legal requirement. It's just something that got into my head and now serves only to make me avoid posting here.
Bad, bad Dr. R!
I hope to do better. But if you are looking for briefer, lighter fare, you can indeed find it on the CMVC FB page.
Bad, bad Dr. R!
I hope to do better. But if you are looking for briefer, lighter fare, you can indeed find it on the CMVC FB page.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Please Excuse Our Neighbors
Please pay no attention to the one-handed Persian man who runs the print shop next door to us. He may yell and scream and fight with his wife and sons all day long, but he is harmless as far as we and our clients are concerned.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Cat Fur
We aren't a grooming parlor, but we DO get involved in feline grooming issues when a groomer can't or won't tackle it. Sometimes this is because a cat is simply too fractious (I like that term - it sounds so much less judgemental than "nasty") to be combed or shaved, and sometimes it is because the groomer sees something scary about the cat's condition and alerts the owner that medical attention is needed, not simply grooming.
Either way, when a cat comes to us with grooming issues, we always start with an EXAMINATION. By the DOCTOR. In the EXAM room. And yes, we do charge for this exam. It's part of what I consider appropriate medical care, and is essential so that we can do a thorough evaluation of the cat's overall needs (we don't treat fur - we treat PATIENTS) and give an accurate fee estimate.
You'd be surprised at the vast number of phone calls we get from people demanding a bath and combout or shave WITHOUT my ever examining the patient. It would be funny if it weren't so sad, because this demand is usually AFTER the receptionist has already explained the need for an EXAM.
And no, we can't tell you how expensive it will be to combout or shave your cat, who we have never seen before, without having a good look at it. We don't have a magic crystal ball to intuit the concomitant kidney failure, or out-of-control hyperthyroidism, or advanced oral cancer that we sometimes see in cats presented for "grooming".
I try not to get frustrated by these things, but it's hard. Especially when it's clear the owner doesn't care nearly as much about their cat's medical well-being as they do their own personal convenience or entertainment budget.
We had a cat come in recently that was old and decrepit, and badly matted. When we got done shaving her, it was hard to tell which was the pile of fur and which was the cat. It ended well - she went home feeling much better than when she came in. But it was scary - and she isn't the worst I've ever seen.
So, which is the cat? And which is the fur? You decide.
Disclaimer: The cat depicted is alive. No cats were harmed in the production of this blog post.
Helpful suggestion: Grooming implements
Either way, when a cat comes to us with grooming issues, we always start with an EXAMINATION. By the DOCTOR. In the EXAM room. And yes, we do charge for this exam. It's part of what I consider appropriate medical care, and is essential so that we can do a thorough evaluation of the cat's overall needs (we don't treat fur - we treat PATIENTS) and give an accurate fee estimate.
You'd be surprised at the vast number of phone calls we get from people demanding a bath and combout or shave WITHOUT my ever examining the patient. It would be funny if it weren't so sad, because this demand is usually AFTER the receptionist has already explained the need for an EXAM.
And no, we can't tell you how expensive it will be to combout or shave your cat, who we have never seen before, without having a good look at it. We don't have a magic crystal ball to intuit the concomitant kidney failure, or out-of-control hyperthyroidism, or advanced oral cancer that we sometimes see in cats presented for "grooming".
I try not to get frustrated by these things, but it's hard. Especially when it's clear the owner doesn't care nearly as much about their cat's medical well-being as they do their own personal convenience or entertainment budget.
We had a cat come in recently that was old and decrepit, and badly matted. When we got done shaving her, it was hard to tell which was the pile of fur and which was the cat. It ended well - she went home feeling much better than when she came in. But it was scary - and she isn't the worst I've ever seen.
So, which is the cat? And which is the fur? You decide.
Disclaimer: The cat depicted is alive. No cats were harmed in the production of this blog post.
Helpful suggestion: Grooming implements
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Fire Hydrant
Earlier this month we had a little adventure out front. A couple of cars over at the In-and-Out Burger driveway got into a dispute and one of them sheared off the fire hydrant as it careened up onto the sidewalk.
When it happened, Alison and I were wasting time chatting in my office. Mid-sentence she flinched, turned around, and walked quickly up front. She had heard the cars collide but didn't know what the sound was.
Much laughter and shouting ensued as she excitedly informed me of the geyser across the street and I grabbed my camera. And I actually remembered to take pictures!
Fortunately, LAFD was quickly on scene and it only took about 5 minutes before the water was shut off. It took a while for the traffic to clear, though. This happened just as Taft HS was letting out.
The geyser:
The cavalry has arrived:
All fixed:
Now, most of you probably won't see the humor in this. But the exact same thing happened to the fire hydrant 20 feet from my apartment late one night a couple of months ago, and the geyser came down directly on my (flat) roof, making me wonder if my bedroom would soon be flooded. And there was also the kerfuffle with the switchblade-wielding lunatic trying to carjack people at my apartment complex in March, but that's another story altogether and not cat-related at all other than the part about my cats gawking at him when he broke his bedroom window not 30 feet away.....
I have had quite enough excitement of late, thank you.
When it happened, Alison and I were wasting time chatting in my office. Mid-sentence she flinched, turned around, and walked quickly up front. She had heard the cars collide but didn't know what the sound was.
Much laughter and shouting ensued as she excitedly informed me of the geyser across the street and I grabbed my camera. And I actually remembered to take pictures!
Fortunately, LAFD was quickly on scene and it only took about 5 minutes before the water was shut off. It took a while for the traffic to clear, though. This happened just as Taft HS was letting out.
The geyser:
The cavalry has arrived:
All fixed:
Now, most of you probably won't see the humor in this. But the exact same thing happened to the fire hydrant 20 feet from my apartment late one night a couple of months ago, and the geyser came down directly on my (flat) roof, making me wonder if my bedroom would soon be flooded. And there was also the kerfuffle with the switchblade-wielding lunatic trying to carjack people at my apartment complex in March, but that's another story altogether and not cat-related at all other than the part about my cats gawking at him when he broke his bedroom window not 30 feet away.....
I have had quite enough excitement of late, thank you.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Fun With Bunnehs
When I first read about this, I was certain it had to be from The Onion (the world's best online satire magazine). But it's not. It's real.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you: Showjumping Bunnies.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you: Showjumping Bunnies.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Another Phone Call
So Alison was fielding phone calls this afternoon and got one from our friends at the boiler room in India, who grace us with their solicitations for all manner of scams at least once a day.
Caller: Hello, may I speak to Gayle Robertson (sic)?
Alison: May I ask who's calling?
Caller: My name is Roger.
Alison (who can hear the boilerroom operation humming in the background and notes that Roger sounds Indian): What company are you with, Roger?
Caller: Um....uh....my name is Roger.
Alison: I heard that part, Roger. What company are you with?
Caller: I....uh....um....I don't know.
Alison: Wait. What? You don't know? Who do you work for that you are calling on behalf of, Roger??
Caller: Um...I think I'm gonna go now. (click)
I swear. You can't make this stuff up.
Caller: Hello, may I speak to Gayle Robertson (sic)?
Alison: May I ask who's calling?
Caller: My name is Roger.
Alison (who can hear the boilerroom operation humming in the background and notes that Roger sounds Indian): What company are you with, Roger?
Caller: Um....uh....my name is Roger.
Alison: I heard that part, Roger. What company are you with?
Caller: I....uh....um....I don't know.
Alison: Wait. What? You don't know? Who do you work for that you are calling on behalf of, Roger??
Caller: Um...I think I'm gonna go now. (click)
I swear. You can't make this stuff up.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Cat Diaries
Sometimes the giant corporations that are taking over the world actually do something cool, as this clever little video demonstrates. Cat Diaries: The First Ever Movie Filmed By Cats just appeared on ICHC. It's absolutely enchanting!
Click on the hyperlink - I can't seem to get the video thingie directly embedded in the post.
This doesn't mean I am going to start recommending Friskies, however.
Click on the hyperlink - I can't seem to get the video thingie directly embedded in the post.
This doesn't mean I am going to start recommending Friskies, however.
Seagull Rodeo At The Cat Hospital
Mondays in veterinary practice are often pretty exciting, and today is proving to be right up there with the best. We started out with two office visits and an emergency walk-in, involving three blood draws, one sedation, a major bath, two very worried owners, and three unhappy cats.
Then Alison stepped out back for a break, and a minute later called me on her cell phone.
"Dr. Robison, there's a (unintelligible) with a (unintelligible) leg out back!!!"
"What?"
"There's a seagull with a broken leg here!!"
Alison was particularly difficult to understand because of her panic-induced fast speech pattern. You see, she's terrified of birds. And we did indeed have a very large injured seagull at the back door.
Apparently over the weekend, said seagull arrived here by means unknown. It has a limp, and can't fly. I am not qualified to come to any conclusions about what is actually wrong with it, because other than chickens, I didn't study birds in vet school (avian medicine was an elective). But I know when they need help.
We called the California Wildlife Center , but because he was loose they didn't really want to come out. So we got a big cardboard box from the printer next-door, recruited the proprietor (who had been feeding him scraps over the weekend) and had us a little roundup out in the Papa John's parking lot. After a couple of minutes of running back and forth and shouting and throwing the box toward him as he scurried away, I finally got him against the chain link fence along the alley and pinned him in the box. With the lid in place he was secured and brought into the hospital.
We called the wildlife people again, let them know he was ready for transport to their rehab facility, and are awaiting their arrival. The lid is taped in place and the box is in Room 1 with the doors shut so Alison can get over her panic (she is a complete aviophobe, or whatever you call a terrible fear of birds).
I'd post a photo of him, but he's in the box.
ETA: The correct term for Alison's problem is "ornithophobia". It has manifested before - when she was new here, somebody brought in an injured sparrow and I had her drive it (in a box) out to the wildlife rehabbers in Calabasas for me, not knowing how badly they scared her. I felt bad for her, but she handled it like a trooper and then quietly went home and had a meltdown.
Then Alison stepped out back for a break, and a minute later called me on her cell phone.
"Dr. Robison, there's a (unintelligible) with a (unintelligible) leg out back!!!"
"What?"
"There's a seagull with a broken leg here!!"
Alison was particularly difficult to understand because of her panic-induced fast speech pattern. You see, she's terrified of birds. And we did indeed have a very large injured seagull at the back door.
Apparently over the weekend, said seagull arrived here by means unknown. It has a limp, and can't fly. I am not qualified to come to any conclusions about what is actually wrong with it, because other than chickens, I didn't study birds in vet school (avian medicine was an elective). But I know when they need help.
We called the California Wildlife Center , but because he was loose they didn't really want to come out. So we got a big cardboard box from the printer next-door, recruited the proprietor (who had been feeding him scraps over the weekend) and had us a little roundup out in the Papa John's parking lot. After a couple of minutes of running back and forth and shouting and throwing the box toward him as he scurried away, I finally got him against the chain link fence along the alley and pinned him in the box. With the lid in place he was secured and brought into the hospital.
We called the wildlife people again, let them know he was ready for transport to their rehab facility, and are awaiting their arrival. The lid is taped in place and the box is in Room 1 with the doors shut so Alison can get over her panic (she is a complete aviophobe, or whatever you call a terrible fear of birds).
I'd post a photo of him, but he's in the box.
ETA: The correct term for Alison's problem is "ornithophobia". It has manifested before - when she was new here, somebody brought in an injured sparrow and I had her drive it (in a box) out to the wildlife rehabbers in Calabasas for me, not knowing how badly they scared her. I felt bad for her, but she handled it like a trooper and then quietly went home and had a meltdown.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Another Facepalm Moment
Alison just finished dealing with a phone call that went on for at least 10 minutes but ended without an appointment being scheduled - as previous calls from this same prospective client have ended, Alison informs me.
The woman repeatedly asked Alison (who is not a doctor, BTW) variations on the same questions along the lines of "My husband works and I don't drive - how close to closing time can I bring my two cats in?" and "How experienced is the doctor and are you sure she knows what she's doing?" and "What's wrong with my two old cats who have never been fixed or seen a veterinarian?".
The clincher was, "My cats aren't eating well. Have you ever heard of THAT???" To her credit, Alison merely informed her that she wasn't a doctor and couldn't answer medical questions.
In all honesty, it was actually a double facepalm moment.
The woman repeatedly asked Alison (who is not a doctor, BTW) variations on the same questions along the lines of "My husband works and I don't drive - how close to closing time can I bring my two cats in?" and "How experienced is the doctor and are you sure she knows what she's doing?" and "What's wrong with my two old cats who have never been fixed or seen a veterinarian?".
The clincher was, "My cats aren't eating well. Have you ever heard of THAT???" To her credit, Alison merely informed her that she wasn't a doctor and couldn't answer medical questions.
In all honesty, it was actually a double facepalm moment.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
WSU's Green Glove Dance Video - An Instant Classic!
When I think back on my time in vet school, most my memories are of endless hard work, both physical and intellectual, of nights with inadequate or no sleep, of impossible amounts of medical knowledge to comprehend and assimilate, and of exams and more exams, and fear of not passing, and, well, you probably get it. Stress enough to kill most mortals.
But then there were those odd moments of fun and games: admitting a june bug to ICU and presenting the case in rounds (those all-nighters could get dull and we just wanted to perk things up), of practical jokes on professors, and of course at the student banquet my senior year, the student-made film (back in the days before digital video) "Mr. Bill Goes To CSU-VTH" (cue the falsetto voice crying "OH, NO!!!").
I never thought that last one would be topped, but it finally has been. I present to you, without further comment, this stellar effort from the WSU DVM Class of 2011:
And yes, that DOES appear to be the faculty and staff of their Veterinary Teaching Hospital!
But then there were those odd moments of fun and games: admitting a june bug to ICU and presenting the case in rounds (those all-nighters could get dull and we just wanted to perk things up), of practical jokes on professors, and of course at the student banquet my senior year, the student-made film (back in the days before digital video) "Mr. Bill Goes To CSU-VTH" (cue the falsetto voice crying "OH, NO!!!").
I never thought that last one would be topped, but it finally has been. I present to you, without further comment, this stellar effort from the WSU DVM Class of 2011:
And yes, that DOES appear to be the faculty and staff of their Veterinary Teaching Hospital!
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
An Engineer's Guide To Cats
I have a new favorite cat video, which I present to you without comment, other than to say the obvious: NO TUNA!!!
Addendum: Well, gosh, THAT worked out well. Not. Not sure why it loaded in high speed. The original on Youtube can be found here.
Addendum: Well, gosh, THAT worked out well. Not. Not sure why it loaded in high speed. The original on Youtube can be found here.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
And Now, For The Cat Owner Who Has Everything!
We all know the cat parents who spare no expense, who buy every cat toy and trinket and doodad and treat they can get their hands on, and when it's time to give them a gift, well, what the heck does one DO?
Thinkgeek.com now has the perfect gift for the cat owner with everything: the Control-A-Cat Remote Control. $6.99, and NO batteries required!
I gotta get me one.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Cat Fur Puts Criminals Behind Bars
People who prey on cat owners had apparently better be careful - that cat fur that sticks to EVERYTHING may just stick to them and prove their downfall. According to DiscoveryNews, "An international team of scientists has just established an extensive DNA database that will permit cat fur to be used more often and accurately as forensic evidence."
Drat! I was hoping for a chance at a second career as a cat burgler. Maybe not........
Drat! I was hoping for a chance at a second career as a cat burgler. Maybe not........
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Another Phone Call From The WTF Department
While we are on the subject of bunnies........Alison tells me we just got a phone call along these lines:
Caller: Do you guys have any dead rabbits?
Alison: (pause)
Alison: (wonders if somebody is pranking her)
Alison: Uh, no?
Caller: Ok, bye.
We surmise that the caller needs a free dead bunny for some sort of school project, but we could be mistaken. Maybe we should have referred her to the freezer case at Gelson's, where you CAN get dead rabbits, but they are skinned and cleaned, so that probably wouldn't work. And they are pricey, at $9 a pound last I checked.
Alison, who somehow knows these things, tells me you can buy young feeder rabbits at reptile stores and they will do the deed for you. Being in the business of trying to keep rabbits alive, this wasn't something I made a point of learning on my own.
Caller: Do you guys have any dead rabbits?
Alison: (pause)
Alison: (wonders if somebody is pranking her)
Alison: Uh, no?
Caller: Ok, bye.
We surmise that the caller needs a free dead bunny for some sort of school project, but we could be mistaken. Maybe we should have referred her to the freezer case at Gelson's, where you CAN get dead rabbits, but they are skinned and cleaned, so that probably wouldn't work. And they are pricey, at $9 a pound last I checked.
Alison, who somehow knows these things, tells me you can buy young feeder rabbits at reptile stores and they will do the deed for you. Being in the business of trying to keep rabbits alive, this wasn't something I made a point of learning on my own.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
How Do You Disinfect A Cat?
My new favorite blogger, Dr. Scott Weese over at Worms & Germs, posted this piece back in October about the dilemma posed by owners contaminating their cat when suffering from Norovirus.
"The easiest way to handle this is to avoid vomiting on your pets." Indeed.
Where's that ROFL smilie when I need him??
"The easiest way to handle this is to avoid vomiting on your pets." Indeed.
Where's that ROFL smilie when I need him??
Friday, December 18, 2009
Breaking News!
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
If I had a gingerbread house or three sitting at home, this would be Boochi.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
A Phone Conversation
The phone rang a little while ago. The following conversation ensued:
Receptionist: Cat's Meow Veterinary Clinic. How may I help you?
Caller: Hi. I used to bring my cat to you, but we moved up to Sacramento. I need you to send me a copy of my cat's records. We didn't leave a forwarding address.
Receptionist: Okay. Would you like me to fax the records to your new vet up there?
Caller: No, that's okay, just mail them.
Receptionist: Okay. I'll need to get your new address.
Caller: Why??
Receptionist: (long pause) Um, so I can mail the records to you?
~~~~~~~~~~
True story. Where's that headbang smilie avatar when I need him?
Receptionist: Cat's Meow Veterinary Clinic. How may I help you?
Caller: Hi. I used to bring my cat to you, but we moved up to Sacramento. I need you to send me a copy of my cat's records. We didn't leave a forwarding address.
Receptionist: Okay. Would you like me to fax the records to your new vet up there?
Caller: No, that's okay, just mail them.
Receptionist: Okay. I'll need to get your new address.
Caller: Why??
Receptionist: (long pause) Um, so I can mail the records to you?
~~~~~~~~~~
True story. Where's that headbang smilie avatar when I need him?
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